From: Stephen Bryce <sibryce@yahoo.com>

"The Day That Windows Died" -- extended version

(adaptation of "American Pie" by Don McLean;
 new lyrics by Steve Bryce)

A long, long time ago
I can still remember when my old PC used to work.
And I knew if I stuck with DOS,
My machine, it wouldn't always toss,
Some surprise from the world's richest nerd.

But Win '98 made me shiver.
With every boot-up, I would quiver.
Bad stuff on my desktop.
It almost made me blow my top!

I can't remember if I cried
When the judge was able to decide,
But I was laughing deep inside,
The day that Windows died.

So bye-bye, Mr. Microsoft Guy.
The people think that you're illegal,
So you'll probably fry.
The old DOS guys are drinking champange and wine,
Hoping this'll be the day that you'll die.
This'll be the day that you'll die.

Did you write the Book of Trust,
And do you think that the vote was just,
Even if Billy tells you "No"?
Oh, do you believe in OS/2?
Do you think Bubba ever knew,
That his guys would just have to go?

I know, it's stuck on PCs new.
You'd think these guys would have a clue.
It always broke, it's true.
One job, it just couldn't do...

Because their programmers are brain-dead slobs.
How did they ever get their jobs?
Fortuneately, those guys were gone
The day that Windows died.

I started singin'
Bye-bye, Mr. Microsoft Guy.
The people think that you're illegal,
So you'll probably fry.
The old DOS guys are drinking champange and wine,
Hoping this'll be the day that you'll die.
This'll be the day that you'll die.

For five years now, we've been on our own,
With one Window or another in our homes,
But that won't be for long, you see.
As Bill Gates cried at the big lawsuit,
The robed guy gave the little pecker the boot
With a voice that came from you and me.

Oh, and while the judge was looking down,
Bill tried to buy his thorny crown,
The courtroom was adjourned,
But a verdict was returned.

And while Billy learned to play real nice,
The business guys got their little slice,
And we thought it was paradise
The day that Windows died.

We were singin'
Bye-bye, Mr. Microsoft Guy.
The people think that you're illegal,
So you'll probably fry.
The old DOS guys are drinking champange and wine,
Hoping this'll be the day that you'll die.
This'll be the day that you'll die.

Then along came 2000, in its own way:
Playing a little joke on us, with Y2K,
With fears high and falling fast.
Ol' Billy tried for that NT 5,
Thinking that idiots were still alive,
'Cause it still could make the hard drive crash.

Reality checks were of sweet perfume,
While the people sang the protest tune,
And smashed the damned thing to bits,
Along with the four-eyed twit.

Or that was we thought, but he got away,
Without thinking once if he got paid,
Forever, he'd curse his darkest day:
The day that Windows died.

We started singin'
Bye-bye, Mr. Microsoft Guy.
The people think that you're illegal,
So you'll probably fry.
The old DOS guys are drinking champange and wine,
Hoping this'll be the day that you'll die.
This'll be the day that you'll die.

Oh, there we were, all in one place,
Celebrating in the same old space,
Knowing that it was the end.
So come on, Bill get decent, Bill get lost.
Owning the world isn't worth the cost,
When Satan is your only friend.

Oh, and as I saw him on the stage,
Bill's hands were clenched in fists of rage.
No angel born in hell
Could break our DR spell.

And as the flames climbed high, into the night,
And NT burned, and charred, and fried,
I saw Jesus laughing with delight
The day that Windows died.

And He was singin'
Bye-bye, Mr. Microsoft Guy.
The people think that you're illegal,
So you'll probably fry.
The old DOS guys are drinking champange and wine,
Hoping this'll be the day that you'll die.
This'll be the day that you'll die.

I met a girl who sold machines,
And I asked her what was on the scene,
But she just smiled and turned away.
So I went down to the PC store,
Where I'd bought DR-DOS years before,
And the man there said that the business was great.

And in the streets, the hackers screamed,
The geeks all cried, and the 'crackers dreamed,
But not a word was spoken;
The 'Net Explorers were broken.

To the three men I admire most,
The Father, Son, and the Holy Ghost,
I happily proposed a toast
To the day that Windows died.

And we were singin'
Bye-bye, Mr. Microsoft Guy.
The people think that you're illegal,
So you'll probably fry.
The old DOS guys are drinking champange and wine,
Hoping this'll be the day that you'll die.
This'll be the day that you'll die.

We were singin'
Bye-bye, Mr. Microsoft Guy.
The people think that you're illegal,
So you'll probably fry.
The old DOS guys are drinking champange and wine,
Hoping this'll be the day that you'll die.