Date: Wed, 02 Feb 2000 12:29:06 CST From: CrowScape Subject: New American Pie Version Farscape Pie It seems so long ago But I can still remember When I launched on that one fateful day And I thought I could help my race And lead them all up into space To be the first one to pave the way But solar flares we should have feared They went and shot me some place weird How could things get any worse I'm in a foreign universe I must admit I was surprised When another ship I sort' a fried A gigantic craft brought me inside I need to get back home So bye bye my dear earthly sky Flew my module through a wormhole and I killed some guy And Crais is on my tail with rage in his eye Saying "Bye my hand I swear you will die." "Bye my hand I swear you will die." I'm not sure if this Luxan brave Can be trusted enough to my hide save Or will he instead just do me in Did you see that there king dethroned Billions of subjects once called his own Taken by his subversive cousin Well they thought I was a Sebacean And they locked me up with Aeryn Sun At first I didn't complain 'Til I learned she was skilled in pain Zhann was a blue Pa'u who's spirit'ly tough And I knew that things were going to be rough As they put me in some funky 'cuffs I want to get back home I started singing Bye bye my dear earthly sky Flew my module through a wormhole and I killed some guy And Crais is on my tail with rage in his eye Saying "Bye my hand I swear you will die." "Bye my hand I swear you will die." Well we came upon a PK ship It had been blown up quite a bit Rygle said it's the Zelbinion So we went on board and tried to find Something to deal with Crais in kind But there was no functional weapon Imagine when to our surprise We all saw Sebacean eyes There was a PK tech Alive on this old wreck Gillina was from Crais's Carrier Aeryn wanted to kill her I knew we were in danger I wish I was back home I was singing Bye bye my dear earthly sky Flew my module through a wormhole and I killed some guy And Crais is on my tail with rage in his eye Saying "Bye my hand I swear you will die." "Bye my hand I swear you will die." The PKs proved a nasty bunch Setting traps on everything but our lunch We didn't know how many there'd be The darters were on maintenance Though two were spared to help assist So we had too search Moya manually Now D'Argo found a strange device To remove it his foot sufficed Moya soon went berserk Life-support refused to work Not avoiding all the DRDs The droids had brought me to my knees With whirling blasters aimed at me I knew I must get home They were singing Bye bye his dear earthly sky Flew his module through a wormhole and he killed some guy And Crais is on his tail with rage in his eye Saying "Bye my hand I swear you will die." "Bye my hand I swear you will die." And as I gazed out into space A wormhole stared me in the face I knew this was my ticket home So I left Moya and quickly went right through The scintillating cyan and blue And left the rest behind free to roam Now I was happy I was back 'Til in came all the Men in Black I found it was a trick A deceptive alien shtick And there I had just been mislead To find a planet the cockroach said Then he put some tech inside my head To help me get back home. We started singing Bye bye my dear earthly sky Flew my module through a wormhole and I killed some guy And Crais is on my tail with rage in his eye Saying "Bye my hand I swear you will die." "Bye my hand I swear you will die." On board Moya there was a phage That stabbed Aeryn in a fit of rage And severed her paraphoral nerve So we went down to the Gammak base Just hoping no one would know my face But Scorpius went and threw me a curve While I sat in that comfy chair Aeryn was making her way there We made good our escape Gillina it was too late Rygle decided to turn us in But Crais found out how to forgive Just how well can we trust him Why can't I get back home And I heard singing Bye bye my dear earthly sky Flew my module through a wormhole and I killed some guy And Scorpius wants what I have in my mind Saying "Wormholes will one day be all mine" "Wormholes will one day be all mine" We were singing Bye bye my dear earthly sky Flew my module through a wormhole and I killed some guy And Scorpius wants what I have in my mind Saying "Wormholes will one day be all mine"