Magnet Pie

A parody of American Pie, original lyrics and music by Don McLean
New lyrics by Jennifer Lin, Walter Kwong, Matt Horner, and Bret Cohen

Any posting of these lyrics must show them in their entirety, along
with this introductory note.  Use of these lyrics for profit is
strictly prohibited without express written consent of all non-deceased
authors of these lyrics.

A long long time ago,
I can still remember
how they wanted me to go to Blair.
And my parents said if I could,
they'd make sure that go I would
so my chances at CMU would be fair.
But February made them shiver
with every piece of mail delivered.
No news on the doorstep.
They couldn't wait one more breath.
I can't remember if they cried
when my entrance filled their parent pride.
But something touched them deep inside
the day my social life died.
So...

Bye bye to Montgomery Blair High
tried to teach me lotsa info
but my brain got fried.
That good old binx helped my ytalk ranking fly high
typing, "I could get a life if i tried,
I could get a life if i tried."

Did you throw that peach torte cake,
and a spring in STELLA can you make,
if Piper assigns it so?
I mean can you use the power tools
without cutting your partner you fool?
Do we write R&E logs to be cool?
Well I can't get this math homework done
cuz Walstein's bout how the Giants won.
The precal book is too dense -
when i study i get so tense!
I was a striving learning magnet frosh
with fischertechik i thought i was posh,
but my chem project was some trosh
the day my social life died.

and I started typin'

(Refrain)

Now as sophomores we're at new Blair
where we wear IDs, its so unfair,
but that's not how it used to be.
We had Earth Sci in Roger's Neighborhood
where we made transits that measured good
in this plot from right here to that tree.

Oh, and while in mission possible
after our sleep schedules were horrible,
we got the scores we earned
when our grades returned.
And while we took a trip to Wallops
we skated none cuz of foulups.
So instead we studied those scallops
the day my social life died.

We were typing

(Refrain)

Helter skelter with the bronze cast smelter.
Stealing signs from the old fallout shelter,
two miles away and crumbling fast.
Our racing car came in last,
our generic batteries just didn't last.
But in thermo we had burning gas.

Now the linear class was breeze
while Ms Dyas taught of matrices.
Mutating little flies, 
a gene test never lies!
'cause in the the quantum class the tesla coil
helped us ionize the tin foil.
Do you recall what fun we had
the day the power died.

We started singing

{Refrain}

Oh, and there we were all senior year
Where college apps kept us in fear,
with no time left to start again.
So come on, enter Siemens and Intel,
what you'll win only time will tell,
and your college essays are so swell.

In origins we made water clocks,
but water won't stay in a cardboard box.
Us miscreants in AI,
the program's IQ wasn't so high.
And as I used all my hall passes,
college vists instead of classes,
I just found out that I need glasses
the day my social life died.

He was typing
{Refrain}

Over the past four years the staff numbers did fall,
leaving were Carlson, George, and Sandoval,
with Escatell, Russell, and Johnson on their way.
Well I went down to the Ertter's store
where i bought premade sandwiches years before,
but the original proprietors moved away.
And in the halls the magnets yelled,
when Will and Alan won Intel.
But later not a word was spoken,
all our hearts were broken.
And we were wrong when we thought we would fail
and were accepted to MIT, Brown, and Yale
Our time was served and we set sail.
When we finally said... goodbye.

And we were typin'

{Refrain 2x}